In a Haunted House (in the style of In a People House by Dr. Seuss)

A rhyming tale based on In A People House by Dr. Seuss

Come inside, Mr. Bird, said the mouse,
I’ll show you what there is in a haunted house.
A haunted house has things that scare
like spider webs and darkened stairs.
Blood-filled bathtub, floating brooms.
That’s what you find in haunted rooms.
Fresh dug soil that smells like the dead,
Unexplained shadows, severed head.
These are claw marks on a creaky door.
Come along, I’ll show you more.
Here’s a coffin. Here’s some gore.
Gravestones, white sheets, eerie wails.
Candelabra, bed of nails.
Ouija board, skeleton key, demonic voices on TV.
Come on! Come on! There’s more to see!**
You’ll see a human skull in a haunted house.
An ominous grandfather clock, said the mouse.
Moving curtains, creepy doll,
Bloody footprints down the hall.
Insects, cold spots, and falling books.
Knives and axes, scalpels, hooks.
Strange faces in mirrors and floating things.
A clown toy with tiny bells that ring.
Flying bats and slime that gleams.
Look behind you! I’m going to scream!
And another thing, it’s time you knew,
a haunted house has ghosts in it, too!
And now, Mr. Bird, said the mouse,
You know what there is in a haunted house.

**NOTE: Whenever I read that line in the original book what I hear in my head is “Come on! Come on! There’s Morrissey!” I believe that works in this version as well. Feel free to substitute it.