Hello, internet friend!
We’ve had some great virtual times haven’t we? We are both so passionate about that one thing, and it has really brought us together. I look forward to seeing your comments on my posts and being able to comment on yours. Mostly. To be honest, as I’ve started paying closer attention I’ve realized that I’m not always enthusiastic about your updates. In fact, I’ve come to a realization: I don’t think I’d like you in real life.
I don’t think you are a horrible person or anything. Not at all! It’s just some of the things you say make it impossible for me to think we could hang out together in real life without me finding you incredibly annoying. (No offense!)
I think it started with your posts about that band. Your “favorite” band. Really? That’s your favorite band. I thought you’d have better taste than that.
And that TV show you live tweet? I quit in the middle of season one. And you have never taken my suggestions for shows to watch. (You are really missing out.)
We have completely different types of jobs. (Actually, I still don’t quite get what you do.) We have different hobbies. We like different foods. We disagree about the Oxford comma.
Oh, and sometimes you retweet jokes that aren’t funny. Not funny at all.
Don’t worry. I have no plans of unfollowing you. I like you here in our virtual reality fantasy world. I just don’t want either of us to delude ourselves with any “If you are ever in town we should…” LMIRL bullshit. I can tell that such a meeting would be awkward at best.
You don’t have to say anything. Just click “like” if we are still okay. I’ll be watching for the notification.
Your online-only friend
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