He is unraveling me. He is pulling my life away like a tugged piece of yarn slowly unwinding a favorite sweater. I just want to cut it off.
What if I did cut it off myself? What if I put an end to the Man with the Shadow Voice’s fun?
I could stop the game early. I could end the torture of anticipation and fear. I could beat him to it. I could take away his prize. I could wipe away that jagged smile.
Which is scarier: Waiting to be killed or doing it myself? How would I even do that? I don’t have a gun and don’t think I could shoot myself even if I did. Wrist slashing seems painful, slow, and likely to fail. Jump off a tall building? Too chicken. Hanging? Seems like another big opportunity for a failed attempt.
Pills washed down with liquor seem like the most viable option, but what type of pills? How many? Where would I get them? Would I just fall asleep and wake up puking?
Even if I did have the courage to pull this off, what would happen then? Would it truly be over, or would I set up some horrible retribution? I fear that the Man always completes his plan one way or another. If I kill myself, he might satiate his craving by taking Annie.
No. I will wait my turn. I will follow the rules no matter how unfair.
What happens next? Read the next part of the story here.