This weekend I’m at BlogHer ’14, and the theme is #selfiebration. This is a selfie-themed bit of Fiction Friday flash fiction although it is rather the opposite of the vibe being celebrated at BlogHer. It was inspired by this tweet:
— darth™ (@darth) April 25, 2014
I’m like a modern, female Dorian Gray. No, I don’t have a painting in my attic that accumulates the ugliness of my life while I remain beautiful.
I have no painting, but I have a selfie. The Selfie of Dorian Gray. Actually, I have lots of selfies that fall into this category.
Dorian Gray only had one painting showing his hidden flaws while his face remained unspoiled, but I have many secret pictures that show my sins. They live in my phone.
The selfies of which I speak live only in my phone. They aren’t posted to Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. I keep them hidden away because they reveal my ugliness.
These selfies are not me. These selfies show things. Things you should never see or you will shun me. Horrible things.
They show wrinkles and double (even triple!) chins. They show my roots growing in. They show my stomach hanging out. They sometimes show a weird smile or a slovenly outfit.
The only rational explanation is that these selfies, these horribly ugly selfies, must be the result of some evil like in the The Portrait of Dorian Gray, right? I mean, that’s not how I really look, right? That’s not how you see me. Is it?
This is part of my Fiction Friday series which includes a wide variety of short fiction, satire, and poetry including
- We didn’t cure cancer. We fed it.
- Licensed to kill time
- Antisocial media
- Someone who looks a lot like BD Wong
Get notified of new posts by email. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.