List 36: The best food (to make me explode like an overfed goldfish)

Below is a list of some of the best food I know. No, it’s not the most artfully prepared gourmet food I’ve ever eaten. That stuff is good, but this is the best food because it is the food I crave. If someone were to stock my kitchen with these all things I would eat and eat and eat until I exploded like a goldfish. I should not be left alone with most of these items.

Of course, everyone has a different idea of what is the best food. For instance, you may notice the lack of Nutella or bacon on this list. I like them, but there are foods I crave much more.

  1. Brownies.
  2. Chocolate chip cookies.
  3. Moist chocolate cake.
  4. Ice cream (ideally paired with one of the above). Most varieties will do as long as they don’t have nuts in them. It’s a texture thing.
  5. Crazy Cake Concrete from Lickety Split. A whole cupcake, frosting and all, blended with frozen custard. Crazy.
  6. French fries, ideally crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. You can keep the burnt ones.

    French Fries
    By Evan-Amos via Wikimedia Commons
  7. Trader Joe’s sesame sticks.
  8. Samoas Girl Scout Cookies.
  9. Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies.
  10. Mexican food. Pretty much any of it as long as it doesn’t involve stomach or tongue.
  11. Brie cheese (fig jelly is optional).
  12. Manchego cheese.
  13. Cheesecake.
  14. Scones. Good ones that aren’t as hard as rocks.
  15. A juicy cheeseburger.
  16. Fried chicken.

    Fried Chicken
    By Evan-Amos  via Wikimedia Commons
  17. Cornbread.
  18. Pumpkin Donuts. You can have your Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I’d rather have a pumpkin donut and a regular coffee.
  19. Peanut butter and items made from or containing peanut butter.
  20. Tater tot pizza from Quencher’s. When I was pregnant with my son I ate an entire one of these myself. Allegedly.
  21. Fried cheese curds.
  22. Spaetzel.
  23. Funnel cake.

    Funnel Cake
    By Lorax via Wikimedia Commons
  24. Avocados.
  25. Pierogies.
  26. Pillsbury crescent rolls. I buy them on holidays “for the kids.”
  27. Trader Joe’s sweet potato tortilla chips with spicy peach salsa.
  28. General Tso’s Chicken. I’ve read the Fortune Cookie Chronicles. I’ve even been to China. I know General Tso’s Chicken is not authentic Chinese food. What it is is fried chicken covered in sugar and chili peppers. What it is is yummy.

    General Tso's Chicken
    By Rick Audet from Holyoke via Wikimedia Commons
  29. Spicy chicken wings from Dak. Since this Korean restaurant opened in my neighborhood I have eaten more wings than I should admit. I may have also eaten leftover sauce out of the to go containers with a spoon. Allegedly.
  30. Perfectly ripe strawberries.
  31. Perfectly ripe cherries.
  32. Breakfast bread pudding from M. Henry or M. Henrietta.
  33. Scotch eggs. For the uninitiated: hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage, fried and served with hot sauce.
  34. Cadbury cream eggs.

    Cadbury Creme Eggs
    By Joy Stovall via Wikimedia Commons
  35. Gizzies. My family’s version of Chex mix. Buttery and salty with a little Tabasco kick.
  36. Stroopwafel.
  37. Raw cookie dough. Yep, I live dangerously.
  38. Warm bread or rolls and butter.
  39. Coffee. Okay, maybe it’s not a food, but I wouldn’t be awake enough to appreciate any of the above without it.
  40. Margaritas. Because drinking coffee all day would just make me jittery.

    Margarita
    By Jon Sullivan via Wikimedia Commons

Clearly I wasn’t going for the best food to make you healthy and thin.

Let me know on Twitter,  Google+ and Facebook what you consider to be “the best food.”

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